Do I forget part four

Had a good night last night. Did not do much talking but we spent some
quality time together.

Shared our days events to each other and then watched some TV. Fell
asleep holding each other and it felt nice. Least it did for me but
she would not of held on if it didn't for her also

Today is another weird day mentally for me, feeling like I am not all
here, can't seem to shake this.

Kids are going to sleep over at the in-laws and I'm not sure what her
plans are for tonight, not knowing is bothering me.

1:00pm Well I know what the plans are for tonight and they don't include me.

I'm at work right now and can't get anything done, only thing on my
mind is all this stuff that is going on. Guess it helps knowing that I
can put down these thoughts even though I am censoring myself a lot.

Not looking for sympathy, I know that everybody who reads the last few
posts feels bad and all they can really say is "sorry to hear it".

Believe what I have been feeling for the past couples days is an
anxiety attack. I have had them in the past but it has been many years
since I felt this. Little disoriented and heavy breathing, feels like
the weight of the world on my back and I have been nautious for the
past few days also.

Feeling very sorry for myself and I think its time I stop. I need to
pull myself up and focus on the good things, my kids. Going to start
focussing a lot more on them and they're needs, I am going to be the
father they need and deserve.

I hope this is going to be my last "woe is me" post.

Thanks for reading and I hope I did not depress anyone.

J.

--
Sent from my mobile device