Mixed emotions

What the hell is going on?

I am all over the place one second I'm feeling good the next I feel
like I'm in another world. Not sure how to get back to a good place in
my mind and my heart.

These feelings are affecting me physically also. I have lost about
15Lbs in the past couple of weeks, I'm not eating, my stomach is all
in knots.

I'm angry at my wife for hurting me and I am desperately trying to
forgive her but I it is so hard to do when all these emotions keep
popping up. Maybe forgiveness is the wrong word I have already
forgiven her, what I want to do now is move on and have these feelings
go away.

I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want to be angry anymore, I
don't want to doubt her anymore.

They say ignorance is bliss, wonder if I would of been better off not
ever knowing. Sooner or later I would of found out and it would of
hurt just as bad no matter what.

Baby if you read this don't misinterpret my words. I love you with all
my heart but like I had told you I need a way to get these things out
and right now it seems this is the best way for me.

I feel like crap. I'm not taking care of myself. WTF do I need to do?
How do I get this fixed? Why is this so hard to deal with?

Baby I need you to help me with this I need you to talk to me and
listen to me. I need help from you. I don't think I can do this on my
own. Feel I'm losing myself.

I want to do to things with my wife. I want to go out, see things,
experience new stuff, find new common interests. I want to get to know
her again and I want her to get to know me again. I was a fun guy. I
used to tell her stories and she used to listen and tell me that she
loved my stories.

I want to go to the museum with her and take a drive to some small
town we have never been to have lunch, go and sit in a park and have a
picnic. I want to meet and old couple and listen to they're stories
all day just so we both can learn what it means to be in love again.

Do you want these same things? What do you want?

I want you to tell me, please. In the end all I want is for us to be
happy with each other.

I don't want these mixed emotions anymore.

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Sent from my mobile device